Matthew 22:37-40
"Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
He makes it sound so easy! Gee wizz, I wish all I only had to study scripture. I should have majored in Biblical Literature.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Wrestling
I think God has been trying to teach me the same lesson for the past year. And I STILL can't get it straight. I think He's been calling me to a deeper relationship with Him, but I just won't let go and allow myself to go deeper. I don't know why...
Its like i'm a baby trying to learn the word "apple" and God is standing in front of my high chair saying REPEATEDLY "apple. apple. aaaappplllleee. sound it out Kayla, you got this, apple. apple." Of course He is the most patient Father ever and He'll say Apple for all of eternity until I finally stop looking at Him with my doe eyes, and open my mouth and say "Aaapple!" Of course, i've been sounding out the word;stumbling and trying so hard to understand what God has been saying, but am I truly trying my best? I don't know. There is no gauge of how long it takes to learn something. Maybe its supposed to take this long, maybe the depth God has been trying to take me to is much deeper than anything I could ever relate to. Maybe its more like God's trying to teach me the word "magnanimous." And I'm like, I got Apple. What in the world is He trying to say now? I don't know. Whatever it is God is teaching me, I'm uncomfortable. And I know I'm uncomfortable and I know I asked to be uncomfortable so that God would teach me stuff, but the discomfort is tough and I don't want to be in it forever. So I'm wrestling like Jacob and just praying God will dislocate my hip (hopefully not literally) so that I can finally get His blessing. So whatever it is that i'm supposed to be learning, I'm learning it and wrestling with it and looking at the lips of God as He tries to sound it out so it'll finally get through my thick scull.
Also, I sometimes think that wrestling is the best expression of my love languages. so Maybe God truly is wrestling with me and teaching me something in the most loving way I can understand.
Its like i'm a baby trying to learn the word "apple" and God is standing in front of my high chair saying REPEATEDLY "apple. apple. aaaappplllleee. sound it out Kayla, you got this, apple. apple." Of course He is the most patient Father ever and He'll say Apple for all of eternity until I finally stop looking at Him with my doe eyes, and open my mouth and say "Aaapple!" Of course, i've been sounding out the word;stumbling and trying so hard to understand what God has been saying, but am I truly trying my best? I don't know. There is no gauge of how long it takes to learn something. Maybe its supposed to take this long, maybe the depth God has been trying to take me to is much deeper than anything I could ever relate to. Maybe its more like God's trying to teach me the word "magnanimous." And I'm like, I got Apple. What in the world is He trying to say now? I don't know. Whatever it is God is teaching me, I'm uncomfortable. And I know I'm uncomfortable and I know I asked to be uncomfortable so that God would teach me stuff, but the discomfort is tough and I don't want to be in it forever. So I'm wrestling like Jacob and just praying God will dislocate my hip (hopefully not literally) so that I can finally get His blessing. So whatever it is that i'm supposed to be learning, I'm learning it and wrestling with it and looking at the lips of God as He tries to sound it out so it'll finally get through my thick scull.
Also, I sometimes think that wrestling is the best expression of my love languages. so Maybe God truly is wrestling with me and teaching me something in the most loving way I can understand.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Reality.
Today is the first day of class. I think this one really is my last first day of school. Unless I go crazy and try to get more degrees.
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