Journals and blogs have overwhelmed me lately, but I need to start somewhere. Its healthy. It's good for me. I can't put off processing my life forever.
The other day I realized I haven't fully processed graduation and I got a little upset about it. Its going to take time, I know, but I feel like I should be further along than I am.
I believe that ceremonies, weddings, funerals, graduations... etc. are good for us because they help us face the transitions and changes we go through in healthy ways. I think that when we don't participate fully in those ceremonies, we are missing something. The weekend of my graduation, I feel like I had a lot going on in my mind and I just kind of coped my way through it without fully engaging in the joy of graduating. And I think through that process, I allowed the anxieties to steal a lot of the joy graduations should bring. So my plan is to call my mom soon and plan little graduation gathering when I get back from Honduras. I think this will be helpful in allowing me to fully celebrate and feel closure.
I have accomplished something. I have a freaking college degree that says so! Why don't I feel happy about that? Probably because I've suffered a lot of discontentment with my major and some of my classes this year. But I shouldn't let those discontentments create a dis-creditation in my head of the accomplishment God has brought me to. I'm excited about the things that I've learned and ready to apply them in real life situations while continuing to learn more. We're always students in a sense and I never want to stop learning and growing each day.
I'm glad that you finally blogged and are allowing yourself to process. Keep continuing to "sit in graduation" and feel the gravity of what that means and what you've accomplished.
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