Christmas + a new brother

Remember when I had a blog? HA!
Today is Christmas. We drew names this year. I got mom and she got me :) A new cashmere sweater for me and a new travel mug for her. fun. The rest of the family got cute gifts too, Kyle was in on it this year. It was fun to have a brother on the scene. Bobby came to visit NC for the past 4 days and left yesterday in time to be home for his and Mr. Wrigley's birthday and a Christmas celebration. Today I thought a lot about buying a macbook computer, but decided to officially buy my car instead... go figure.
Bobby and I are reading the Voyage of the Dawn treader and trying to finish it in time to see the movie before I head back to school. So I think I'll read a little of that then "lay me down to sleep."
Night world.

Holes in the soles and some Ben Folds

1. Holes in the Soles.
i worked with mom in the yard building a brick area around our front garden. it's more than laying down bricks... you have to make sure the ground is all even and the bricks fit well and BE CAREFUL that you don't squish a plant in the process. it took a good while.
anyhow. while walking across the yard to grab bricks all day i kept getting dirt or little pebbles in my shoes. as I've been working in the yard this summer I've been wearing my junky little chucks cause they're just my favorite and they're old now so people get mad at me when i wear them in public. they just remind me of all the fun I've had in them though! i should do a blog about all of the memories they bring me. soon. so as i was walking, i kept getting all that junk in my shoes from the holes that have formed in the soles. and i was thinking... this doesn't really bother me as much it probably should. so i was like, that's kinda cool. and then i thought about this analogy of how if we work so hard and play so hard that we wear holes in the soles of our shoes the little mishaps and problems that come (those represent the pebbles and dirt) won't bother us so much. they'll just be something that happens and we'll just keep moving. so i challenged myself in those thoughts to keep working hard and playing hard so that i won't get all worked up about the little stones that get in my shoes.
2. Some Ben Folds.
I'm at home alone right now. so i was looking for tickets to see Ben Folds with an orchestra. i haven't found the tickets yet but i DID find some stuff about a new album that he's coming out with. it's called Lonely Avenue and he partnered with an English Novelist, Nick Hornby to create it. the coolest thing is that the songs are supposed to be a series of short stories about different topics. I'm excited to here this (needless to say).
Also, note on Nick Hornby: John Cusak stared in High Fidelity, which is one of Hornby's books that was turned into a movie! i love John Cusak, i love Ben Folds. so if these guys like Hornby, then I'm going to look into reading one of his books..? maybe. i think that's how Logic works.. I'll look into it.

you can click THIS to read more about the album :)

adults

Hillary moved out.
it feels really surreal to be at this stage in life where a sibling moves out. how do those kids do it being aunts and uncles at this age? it feels really weird to be old. or at least to sit and think about my age/pre-adult stage of life. They (you know, those people...) should start saying pre-adult.. like the term "pre-teen" Being an adult is weird. but not like a bad weird, just a surreal, this is really happening weird.
so we have a hang out room now.
Hillary's room has a futon, trunk, and TV in it. I'm sitting in here. there is SO much space. i need to clean my room so i can feel more comfortable; all this space is spoiling me.
i like "Rocket Man" by Elton John

manual labor and yum yums

I'm going to invent a computer that doesn't sound like its going to take off when it's on my lap... cause that's what mine sounds like right now. i don't know where it wants to go.. but i mean. it's on the run way apparently..

Soooooo, today consisted of lots of manual labor, mostly done outside. washed mom's car this morning, then headed to grandma's to do a LIST of things, mostly pulling weeds and sweeping. When i got home i still had to do the finishing touches on mom's car so i ate my 2 yum yums hot dogs and got back to work. i won't lie. i'm a little sore and tired, but i had a good time. i feel pretty accomplished from today. i think i should look into some line of work where i have to do manual labor... or something that has a check list where i can do the things i'm asked to do then clock out? that makes me feel like i helped others more tangibly than in an office. paperwork flavored jobs, i don't know that i could do them everyday with a smile... just thinking out loud.

the words "loud" and "load" always make me stop to make sure i used the right one.

Yum yums only takes cash. today i walked in there with $11 to get 8 hot dogs at $1.60 each. math problem. GO! ...doesn't add up. so i said "i got pennies!" and ran to my car praying that i had enough pennies to cover the $13.40 total. i had $0.91 in pennies. the kid at the register knew that i was a regular so he slipped me $0.50 to help me out. still a dollar short. i said, "shoot, i'm sorry! maybe you should just take one back?" he said, "just bring an extra dollar next time." haha, i love yum yums...they take care of me.

i'm blogging more

and don't let me not, ok?

i think the reason i don't blog as much is cause i don't feel like i have something to say... but if i just start talking something of meaning comes out... or at least a % of the something that comes out could have a little meaning.
so.
conclusion.
just start blogging more and then the meaning stuff will come...(i mean, it won't be everyday... but it'll be more)we'll see.
i just watched a Will Smith movie, Enemy of the state. it was intense. Mom had seen it a few times and kept wanting me to watch it but i wanted to see it from the beginning. so i got the chance today. there were a few interesting things...maybe they weren't significant. i don't know. but. it was made in 1998 and the birthday of one of the main congressman who caused all the trouble was 9/11. interesting....that's really my only interesting thing. and it was about national security. anyhow.
dad was here the past 5 days and left today. sad.
BUT Bobert comes Thursday. happy!
i got sideswiped yesterday on the way to Ed McKay's. IF THERE IS EVER DAMAGE TO A VEHICLE CALL THE POLICE. that's the lesson i learned. the lady(the one who hit me) and i decided all we needed to do was exchange numbers. wrong! i had a tension headache for the majority of the day because i had to "make a statement" with insurance. overwhelming. i think mom thought i was depressed. we were walking in WalMart and she kept saying "have you taken anything yet?" and i said "i'll be fine. i just need to not talk for awhile." so she stopped talking to me so much. when she thinks i'm sad she tries to talk more and perk me up(i figured this out today... she's just trying to help) but my sad look is really just my introvert look and i don't think she knows the difference. but sometimes i dont' know the difference so how can i expect her to?
that's all i got.
i have to wash cars tomorrow.

splinters

when i get money:
1. new watch
2. mac computer (this is more like a dream than a reality... like a unicorn on the wish list)
3. Ben Folds discography (when he plays i drool. period... actually not period, i wish he didn't have to curse so much)
4. guitar lessons
5. camping gear

...I'm just going to stop there. otherwise this will just become a covetous post.

something cool I've been thinking about:
splinters. i got one the other day. i forgot about it for like 24 hours then the next day mom had to help me get it out. what a pain. also, bruises. where do they come from half the time? i feel like i just wake up and find a bruise sometimes. did it happen in my sleep? shoot, that would suck. anyhow, i kind of like when i find splinters and bruises on my body. To me their like little signs of success saying "hey, remember than time you did something with your time? remember when you helped someone out? or moved around and were productive?" they're like my body saying "thanks. thanks for getting splinters in your hands and not in your butt from sitting the bench of life all day." i like that. get off your butt, your body will thank you... maybe in weird ways though haha

Birds

Sometimes i get in crummy moods and just want to be a hermit and not talk to anyone cause i just don't want the crummy attitude to be contagious on everyone else. it's annoying; i get on my own nerves when it happens. The past few days have been a little like that, and I'm still struggling to get out of it.

Something cool happened this morning though.

As i was driving to church (still in this crummy mood) it felt like time stopped for a mere 2 seconds. or at least went into slow motion... it happened while i was taking this one curve in the road that i take ever Sunday morning, but this time there was a bird and for some reason the bird caught my eye like never before. Birds are amazing creatures... THEY CAN FLY. Can you do that? i can't. anyhow, in this moment i noticed this little bird coast across the road right in front of my car and as it did the whole time-in-slow-motion thing happened and i realized how cool it is that birds can fly and i saw the small body of the bird and it just looked so beautifully purposeful. Purposeful probably because it was doing what God wanted it to do and i became really jealous of that bird and spent the rest of my drive to church talking to God about purpose and what is it He wants from me in life and more directly this summer. I don't want to spend my summer like i have the past few days... i mean cleaning my room and looking for a job is all good, but i want purpose in my life, i want someone to be able to look at my life and see what i saw in the bird this morning. God's beautiful Purpose.

At church we sang the Revelation song and one of the lyrics in the chorus says "With all creation I sing: Praise to the King of Kings! You are my everything, And I will adore You!" That seems so easy to just adore Christ, but it's not as easy as it sounds when you try to have that be your everyday purpose. But that's one of my goals for the summer, to just praise God. That's the best way i get out of this crummy mood is to take the energy that God gives me and just give it back to Him through praise... in whatever form that needs to take. That was a really cool song to sing after finding that mini revelation on the way to church through God's creation itself.

ps- trying to find the song lyric i typed "holy is the lamp who was slain" into google.

pss- something else cool that happened before the bird: I realized how much I've just been listening to music without paying attention to the lyrics. I love music so sometimes i just get caught in the rhythms and beats and don't pay attention to the meanings of the words, that's annoying. who wants to brainlessly listen to music? I mean the rhythms are good and there is purpose in those, but there is an even greater purpose in the lyrics of songs. The lyricist didn't just jam the ABC's together, they thought about the poetic contents. pay attention. i don't want to be so apathetic with my music choices. i want to listen to what's being communicated to me, not just hear it and let it skim my ears like a rock on water. That's lame, why not make a splash of it all?

Job Hunt

Isn't it funny that people call searching for jobs a "job hunt?"

it's true though, it's like hunting for an animal, you want the perfect one and it's so hard to find... except it's not as exciting as a safaree. It's more like fishing with crappy bate cause i'm not catching anything and it feel kind of like i'm just sitting.............but that might have to do with the fact that i literally am "just sitting" at the Barnse and Nobler with my computer in hand doing online applications because that's all anyone wants to do these days is make their applications online! WHERE'S THE PERSONAL TOUCH!??
I can't market myself through a computer screen, i do much better in person... how am i supposed to catch anything when they only let me influence their decision to bite with my finger tips?

Learning

click dis yo

this was me learning how to make a hyperlink (from Bethany, thanks Beef Face) and seeing if it worked.
i like ten thousand villages.

more exciting?

i just tried to edit the look of my blog... better or worse? i need communal comfirmation.

Today begins operation organize-my-stuff-from-school into my 10x10 room.
i'll let you know how it goes.
commence.

ps- things to look forward to:
This weekend when everyone will be home from school.
July and August.
Finding a job for the summer.
Summer adventures.
More trail running.
Spending more time outside this summer.
Hanging out with Hillary before she gets married (CRAZYYY!)
Stories from friends in foreign lands and some that are not so foreign but more distant...
Reading lots of books.
Taking advantage of the blessings God has given me.
........Posting more blogs :)

Birthdays

ba ba ba, ba ba buran-
Today i turned 20.
i'm at school still tying up the loose ends of a GREAT school year... cleaning rooms and moving things around, doing a little paperwork here and there.
For my birthday i recieved two books A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller and Let the Nations be Glad by John Piper! I'm so excited to sink my teeth into both of these! Getting books for my birthday was such a sweet feeling for me. i still feel like i'm 17 where all people wanted to give me were gift cards to go shopping but i'm 20 now and all i want are books and national geographic magazines... i hope that's a sign that i'm growing up and people take me seriously. (at least that's how i'm taking the gesture)
The day was filled with a trip to the storage unit and a ResLife wedding murder mystery which was super fun but was sent into the piazza because of the tornado that tried to scoop our little nickers straight off the ground.
After the party my staff on Eastside and i finished watching the addictive Anne of Green Gables movies :) Team Gilbert for life.
Half way through the movie i took a break and called my grandma back from her voicemail she left me earlier... that made me sick for home, i can't wait until thursday night when i'll be snuggly in Greensboro :)
now it's 1:23 am and i must hit the hay for some rest.
Praise God for another birthday well lived!

i never finished blogging spring break.....oops...

ob la di ob la da life goes on.

observations:
1 tulips go to sleep at night (no... like for real, they close up and sleep! Isn't that sweet!!!???)
2 i like working at my desk, therefore a new goal is to keep it clean so i can work at it.
3 i found a blog for compassion international. it's my new home page.
4 If i could play/compose music like anyone it would be Ben Folds.
5 communication is hard for me, but its something i highly value.
6 i'm really excited for the future... all facets, nothing in particular.

Spring Break '10 days 1-5

i'm sitting here in my home watching the movie Julia and Julie which if you've seen that you know its all about blogging........ of course, this sprung me into thoughts about how i have a blog of my own and how i vowed to blog about my spring break. Therefore i am here to update.

side note: there is also another blog giving her own perspective of the trip called bethanitely.blogspot.com (that's Bethany's blog, so you can check that out too, she's a better writer than i, so enjoy)

Friday (day1)--------------------------

Friday, I finished my classes (which consisted of a 7:50) and hung out a lot in McConn waiting for everyone else to be done so we could all celebrate in the freshness of a new break. For dinner I went to the "Bro-ho's!" for some taco eats. Zack, Bobby, David, Alyssa, "K-Shoe," Bethany and I were all on the guest list. After this delishious event, which was filling for both the I soul and stomach, I came back to North Hall East where we did health and safety checks to the musical inspirations of Shara's iPod. We split up into teams on staff. Shara and i decided to take the short end of the 3 on 2 competition... i mean we're good at health and safeties so its understandable that we don't mind the handicap. After finishing the room checks, Bobby came over to hang out and sew my pants. After waiting for David to call, He and Alyssa came over to watch Benny and Joon (great movie if you've never seen it you should check into it). As we were watching the movie, the whole room became a sewing sweat shop. David started sewing Alyssa's button on her coat and Noelle brought out a sweater that i began to mend. It was fun. After our fun in Noelle's apartment, we said our goodbyes and went to our snuggly beds.

INSERT VIDEO...soon to come (you fans hate it.... or.. maybe you don't cause you don't exist.....meh).

Saturday (day2)----------------

Saturday=Driving to WI.

Everyone on staff woke up to eat some breakfast at Richard's! yum yum yum. Breakfast consisted of Noelle sneaking Emilie's coffee (because it would be free if Emilie ordered it and Noelle drank it), The waitress trying to make Emilie's mom eat breakfast, the waitress thinking she had family near the beaches of NC when really the places she mentioned are hours from the beach, and Mrs. Schrock circling the parking lot trying to trick Noelle. :) After breakfast we came back to the dorm and kicked everyone out by 10:00 am so we could finish the health and safety checks. Then we all cleaned, packed, and hit the road. Bethany and I had begun out trek through the new world!

The road to Sparta, WI! This time was filled with music, goofie loner trees, WINDMILLS(!), reading, and "why are barns red?" When we finally made it to WI, dad met us at the local Culvers where Bethany tasted her first cheese curds. delish! Then we headed back to dad's place where we got settled and watched some Seinfeld! (exclimation point!)

Sunday (day3)-------------------

Sunday was our full day in WI. We spent it going to church, eating brunch, visiting a legit cheese shop (Humbird Cheese), seeing the mississippi (!), "is dooby there?" also dad gave us a tour of Ft. McCoy, and we saw the epic goal of the US vs. Canada hockey game... except the US lost in the end :(

Dad's little home is cute and quant and very "J"-ish if i can make reference to the MBTI. I'm glad we got to spend some time up there and that Bethany was gracious and willing to spend a few days with me and dad being weird. I know it meant a lot to dad having us there for a visit :) good times in WI.

Monday (day4)

Monday=Driving to IN.

After a little cleaning and packing, dad took Bethany and I to the local grill on post for some brunch before we began our drive back towards IN.

On the drive we took a few adventures like a visit to Wrigley field, driving down Lakeshore Dr. in Chicago, and getting a little twisted near Gary, IN... other than that there was a lot of singing and music, good talks, eating cheese curds, reading Sex God by Rob Bell, and enjoying the scenery!

Around 9:03 pm. we arrived at the Wrigley estate where we were welcomed by an attack of snowballs! Bobby, David, and Alyssa had it all planned it out and once we pulled into the driveway, we were under aaaaatttackkk! attack! attack. eat a snack. So after they ran out of amo, we headed inside for some grub. When we were done with the eats, we went for a walk to a field near Bobby's neighborhood for some goofing off in the moon light and making moon shadows. Then we came back to the Wrigley's for some hot chocolate and fellowship, where DeeJo and Mrs. Wrigley joined us for conversation and laughs. Then we said our goodbyes to David and Alyssa and settled in for the night. Bethany, Bobby and I read Hope for the Flowers, which is an awesome adult picture book from the 70's about caterpillars and their search for meaning in life and romping in the grass along the way. After the book we said our goodnights until breakfast in the morning...

Tuesday (day5)

Tuesday=Driving to NC.

I woke up in the Wrigley home eager for my eggs in a nest and quickly got dressed to run downstairs like it were Christmas morning. yum yum... Morning in the Wrigley home was delightful, we cracked open the wheel of cheese Bethany and I brought from WI and dumped it into some eggs to be cooked in the nest of toast. DeeJo (Bobby's sister) also made some Mango smoothies for us to gulp down. yum! Then Bobby packed us some lunches for the road in brown paper sacks and signed them "<3 mom"

I drove the whole trip home because I wanted Bethany to enjoy the scenery of my drive home! The drive home is full of sights and wonders including the flatlands of OH, the mountain mama's of WV, the tunnels and what i like to call the "lookout" section of VA, and of course the b-e-a-utiful NC. Along the way we had some fun talks, singing (or course), and (as mentioned earlier) sight seeing...

seriously though........the mountains of WV. priceless. especially this time. It was foggy and snowy and absolutely delishious for the eyes. The fog was cool cause it gave an overcast feeling to scene and kinda dreary... like pirates of the carabean when you see the ships comig in the distance. The snow was great cause it brought brightness to the otherwise dreary fog. And the the delishiousness for the eyes... well....... you just had to be there.

(This is an exerpt from Bethay's blog cause i'm too lazy to type out this experience but i favor it and i wanted to include it...so here it is ;))

In the midst of our trip, Kayla became a genius question asker and we discussed the following questions in depth:

1. If you could be any person, thing, word, or concept, what would it be and why? Kayla answered: a stream of music (at that moment, she felt like the piano melody from the "ohhhhhh I--" part in Ben Fold's Cologne) and I answered: wind (Bethany liked wind because she like being set a part from everything on earth... like gravity. and she liked the thought of being able to come and go, and just like flow with the wind and see things from that perspective)

2. If you could pick one word to describe the other person (not necessarily an adjective), what would it be? Kayla said "stories" for me because it surrounds the way I relate to people and the way I relate myself to others and because I love the details of stories and how everything intertwines in real life, books, and movies. I said "harmony" for Kayla -- partly because of her passion for love and community among people, partly because of her desire to compliment what is around her and make it better, and partly because of the fact that she reminds me of music in a lot of different ways. (After we talked about this, Kayla said "I feel known" and we had a bonding moment.)

3. If you weren't thinking about all the constraints of reality, what job would you want to have more than anything? Kayla: astronaut because you're involved in something so much bigger than yourself, you get to be in the infinity of space, and you get to be on such a great adventure that is so unique and awesome. Bethany: either a writer of the perfectly woven novel, a voice actor, or an old-school Sherlock Holmes-esque detective. Kayla pointed out the last one, because she's [insert better word than 'awesome' here].

Interesting signs we saw on the way:

-"Born Again Thrift Shop"

-"Unique Pain Care: Legitimate Pain Relief" (<-- that giant sign was on a big faded blue factory building with streams of grey smoke coming out the top... shady)

-"Attention Drug Dealers! You Are Being Watched!"

(back to my thoughts.)

A thought on mountains.

There is a certain something about things bigger than ourselves that draws us in... like when you are at the ocean or mountains or even cities, there is something about it that is just appealing..... which of course sends me to thoughts of God and how He is bigger than us and how we are drawn to Him... i just like that. there's more, but i'm unable to communicate my thoughts right now.

There are many more thought updates to be done, but for now, i'm in "Ray-lay," NC visiting all my palsssssssssssssssssssssssss!

spring break '10... Introduction

......so as mentioned, i'm juuuuuuuuuust learning how to blog. in the process of learning, you have to start taking on challenges in order to grow and develop as a "pro-blogger." aye? Thus, in my attempt to grow in the blogging area of my life... i'm going to blog spring break 2-0-1-0

who's excited?

So here's the jist. Bethany Mueller [my roommate, for those who do not know] and I are road tripping a little this break. IN-WI-IN-NC... We started in little ole' Marion, IN and headed to Sparta, WI... why Wisconsin? well, my dad is stationed in Ft. McCoy, Wisconsin so we came up for the weekend to see him. the plan is to post videos and pictures of the trip, but we have limited internet access, therefore i'm just sending out a little snippet into the void of internetted-ness to inform the RAGING fans of what's going on.

......the actual juice?
soon to come when we get to the land where internet flows like milk and honey.

the livings

For Christmas i asked for a subscription to National Geographic.

For Christmas Hillary bought me a subscription to National Geographic...

......it's what? the end of February, and i just got January and February in the mail because Hillary put our home address instead of my school address on the subscription.

nice.

Jokes. Anyhow, i like National Geographic, it's fun to see how beautiful the world is through their magazine and how smart and inventive humans can be... i just think that's interesting.

So, I have two mid-terms (one being Rock Climbing... psh... child's play) and 5 classes between me and spring break! stoked! Bethany is coming to North Carolina for her first time, so this will be exciting to have someone on campus who will know both of my little worlds... sorta. and for me to get to show her the ropes of the Bible Belt.... Are we still in the bible belt? i think so...... this is why i did bad in US History. Sorry Mr. Barber.... i'll do better next time.

I'm thinking about going to Wisconsin this weekend and hanging out with Dad for a day... it's just a thought right now though... may happen....... may not... we'll see.

I'm really excited about not having to think academically for a week, that's probably the most exciting thought of my spring break thoughts when i go into thought land about spring breaking and my thoughts about it when i think......... thoughts. ok.

I just got done web chatting with Sarah Su, she's doing well in Raylay, NC and wants to minor in Italian. I told her that's exciting as i thought about how we both hated Spanish (jugar futbol) for so long but i'm glad she's been able to redeem her learnings of the foreign language department... I still don't like Spanish.

...this blogging thing is hard.

it's like on the internet so i don't want to be all personal but i don't want to be lame and just tell you about the lint in my pockets so please bear with me as i get the hang of it all. I'm not offended if you move on to something more interesting, but know every so often there will be legit thoughts on here so come back for some pizza sometime and i'll feed you like Chef Boyardee.

peace.

Test.

Today I had two tests... shoot! i have to call Hillary back!......done. ok, so i had two tests. And as of now i feel like my brain is a vegetable (i just realized this thing has spell check. word.). But i thought i'd send an update of thoughts for the day.

thought 1 i hate tests
thought 2 tests are good for me though, cause they make me sit down and focus. i focus way better when i'm forced to... sometimes. today i did.
thought 3 even though i suck at taking tests and don't always get good grades, i feel smart. And sometimes i feel like God has helped me see things through higher education. things i wouldn't have realized without the forced learning process we call school. I like that. Even though school gets annoying and frustrating, God can still be in the midst of it and speak little whispers about life. i like His whisper voice.
thought 4 I'm currently taking my last Amoxicillin (meds for my sinus infection).
thought 5 sleep is the key to a door of success.
thought 6 the devo in Psych today was the same scripture (1 John 4:7-21) that i talked about in unit devos. i think it's cool when God speaks to His people on similar things.
thought 7 i think our generation's way of keeping God's name Holy is through capitalizing His name... like how the Hebrews used to use YHWH so they wouldn't just skim over God's name. I like that.
Night.

Who wants to know.

These are my thinkings... if I can do a blog people can keep tabs on me without me even really making a huge effort right? like if I go on some crazy adventure and want to tell all my pals but can't get them all together I can type it up and they can just read it aye? so that way i won't leave details out... i do that sometimes. so that's my plan. you were wondering, i know it. Now you know.

I'm taking a class called Urban Anthropology this semester. I have a bad attitude about it. Mostly because it's all about the book and not so much about the lectures, and i'm lazy. lame. i know. I'm trying to get a better attitude and not be so lazy but it's hard. Right now i'm just trying to look at it in different perspectives to make it more intersesting.

Advice for the day: Don't drink coffee on an empty stomach.

I started a blog today.